The mature Lover

Far more than just ‘romance & sex,’ the Lover seeks out many ways of expressing love and is the archetype of emotion, feeling and sensuality.  Although sexuality is included here, sensuality actually refers to being in touch with all the senses and being able to live life fully through them.  This brings a higher sensitivity to living life, which in turn acts as more fuel for the Lover to find new areas through which to see, feel, create and express love.

This is a more repressed archetype with the invention of the false man who is not in touch with his feelings, but is absolutely essential for evolved men to awaken to our highest potential and deeper layers of emotions that guide us in our actions.

The immature Lover

When not kept in some sense of order (as the King creates), the Lover can fall easily into addiction of pleasure and becomes eternally restless.  Chasing women, pleasure and sensory fulfillment, which satisfies only for a short period, the ‘addicted Lover’ loses a sense of purpose and direction and feels empty.  He can collect experiences, possessions or lovers but loses energy without feeling whole or focused.

The Lover in modern daily life

Slow down and pay extra attention to the things you love. Do things that bring pleasure to your life; experience the pleasure fully, but let it go without growing attached to it. Instead of reaching for more, stop and experience the pleasure in all your senses on a deep level.

Take note of these body, mind and soul tips:


  • Find ways to make mundane daily tasks into pleasure-inducing rituals (for example: chew your food extra slowly to taste everything, spend time with your partner and enjoy kissing & touching slowly, take a walk outside and breathe deeply the whole time).
  • Do Pelvic Floor exercises:
    Read: Kegel exercises for Men
    Watch: How to do Kegel exercises


  • Spend extra time in nature – make it a priority
  • Add some romance – surprise date … buy flowers… write a poem… be creative!


  • Meditate on your heart center.  Bring the energy of your mind towards your heart.  Bring the energy of your ‘lower centers’ to  your heart.
  • Breathe deeply and visualize an expanding ball of light in your heart center.


The Lover on the mat

  • Back bending practices
  • Slow and mindful practices where every movement is a sensual dance with yourself
  • Pranayama practices that slow down the speed of modern life (nadi shodhana, 3 part breathing, increased exhalation)

The Lover

There is strength in intimacy; divinity in love, and no archetype wields this power more skillfully than the Lover: aptly named, often misunderstood. This archetype brings to mind the great romances, playboys, and jilted lovers of the world’s story tapestry, but they are not limited to passionate affections. The Lover presides over all love: familial, religious, cultural, romantic, peaceful. The Lover desires their anima and animus to be united, in whatever form that might be. Let's explore how to be more emotional, sensual and romantic.